these prunes are made for dancin

I am quite a content individual. For now at least.

I had a day off today. I spent my day preparing this evenings meal which I shall cook after typing this post. [Im putting my eagerly anticipated tea on hold for you lot, hope your grateful. You have beconme quite demanding in these past few weeks. I am a busy lady with little time to access a computer, let alone drain myself of all energy in revealing my inner thoughts in a hopefully unoffensive and highly amusing manner.]

At 2 O'clock, I had new potaotes with steamed vegetables [leeks, baby sweetcorn, mangetout, asparagus spears and carrots] drizzled in olive oil and utterly butterly whilst reading a broadsheet [surely even the most neglectful of readers will be aware that ME reading a BROADSHEET is such an epic event that it will be talked about for decades to come] and listening to the entire back catalogue of Blur.

I'm going to see Blur in concert tonight. I saw them when I was 13, a few weeks before I saw Oasis play the G-mex. An introduction to a life of live music at an ideal age, such happy times. Seeing them tonight as a mature and confident young woman with an evolved and diverse muscial identity is quite odd. [I think my seemingly egotistical musings are meerly meant in an ironic manner. Im no student but I can clearly be as irritating as one.]

Anyways, for tea Im having a vegetable stir fry Vietnamese cashew nuts given to me by a beautiful friend.

I am a walking miracle, please start the worship.

I've just read the information provided by the Foreign and Commonwealth Office regarding the countries I will soon be visting. I'm now scared shitless!

I love Outkast's 'Hey Ya' to the point of moving my touchee in inappropriate social arenas. Maybe there is some kind of hynoptic underlying chant, too high for human ears to identify that is indoctrinating Phoebes all over Manchester to dance. Help, I'm under threat from an organised dance troop.

'What's cooler than being cold?'
'Ice cold'

I've put on 2lbs due to the extravagance of my birthday. Oops. I enjoyed myself though. Even though I came home drunk and ate a mars bar. And ate another one on Sunday. And another one yesterday. It's a slippery slope but luckily I have some new walking shoes to create enough friction between myself and the ground protecting me from a sore heeny.

I fancy Gerard Depadieu. I want a French boyfriend. He could say 'Phoebe, who look like a genetically modified cabbage' in French and I would love him.

My birthday message from the Darkmistress, my dear friend with more kindess and love than tuna ice cream:

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars...

- Jack Kerouac

Phoebe is a happy bunny, a laughing warthog, a content earwig.

It's me birthday in two days!!!! Hoorarr! It's going to be glorious, me and the Darkmistress have chosen a list of what we hope to be bohemian, chic and vibrant nightspots. We will look gorgeous. If no-one else turns up then so be it for our beauty wil erradicate any qualms we have with the world. Our excessive radience will bring joy to all those in our presence and thunderbolts of longing will be propelled from their hearts in a quite public fashion.

Someone texted the radio and said that they cryed as a child when wathcing Big Foot and the Hendersons, I watched it recently and it's heart renching! I can completley emphasise with you.

I need the toilet, poss write later, it may be interesting then.

Yesterday was a glorious day.

I went to the Cornerhouse and watched 'My Life Without Me' and it reiterated and strengthened the attitude towards life that I have acquired over the past few months. If I ever have for-knowledge of my impending death [I am of the opinion that we are all dying] and have to review my life and it's acheivements, things such as having nice possessions and lots of money do not matter. Such qualities are not and do not contribute to the essence of us. We should not regret the past, life is as complicated or simple as we make it and being bogged down and preoccupied with such worthless and self indulgent matters will prevent us from receiving eternal love from those who worship us.

Things I want to do before I die.
1. Love and be loved in return.
2. Help as many people as I am capable of helping, even if my help is on the smallest scale such as unstucking a piece of loo roll from a girl's foot for such things upset the poor little mites.
3. Be a mentor to a child and help it use all of the problems of adolesence to it's advantage to grow into a strong, wise and loving individual.
4. Learn to play an instrument.
5. Knit a quilt that will accompany me through the years following it's completion.
6. Worship my body and supply it with the fresh, healthy food it deserves.
7. Grow vegetables.
8. Eat the vegetable I've grown.
8. Live in a motor home and wear wellies, travelling the country with my hair in plaits listening to folk music and sleeping with a guitar. [maybe I won't acheive this one!]
9. Go around the World and experience and respect the other cultures I encounter.
10. Stop arguing with my Dad because I love him and don't want to waste our time together spreading animosity when he has been so wonderful to me and loves me so much.
11. Star in a film or write a screenplay.
12. Become a film buff.
13. Learn to express my pain and anger through other means than this blog.
14. Compile a better list of 'things to do before I die'

x

I went to the shop and I bought and ardvark, ********, a caterpillar, a dragon, ectasy, a fart, Germaine Greer, a haemophiliac, an imaginery friend [that I imagined having], a jelly mould, a Krypton Factor boardgame, a man called Larry, a man, a nomad, opium, a ***** *******, a Quantum Leap box set, a rrrrrrr, sausages from Walls, a tequilla sunrise limited edition set, uranus, a veluptious woman named Samantha, a Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Chocolate bar with golden ticket number three, a xylophone, Yesterday by the Beatles and a Zulu Lord.

*indicates a rude word. rude bwoys.

I cooked tea, quite an event you must understand. I effortlessly created a honey and cinnamon chicken stirfry with noodles. Yum. I informed several customers that I have embarked upon a food revolution. Join me. It'll be a cult with a difference [I am referring to my movement as a 'cult' to communicate with a broad audience as I am unaware what my readership demographic is or if indeed, i have any readers other than my good friends. I am aware that if I was to label my movement as threatening to the the ignorant tabloid reading massess then this would be the most suitable title despite the label 'sect' being more approproate]. Turnips ago-go.

My dad just said 'animals are shit. Save the humans not the animals.' Shut up dadio. I think everyone should use the trains to save our earth. The roads should be converted into animal sancutaries.

Build homes for animals.
Build homes for animals.
Build homes for animals.

my song has been sung.

Last night I had a thoroughly enjoyable evening watching 'the chase' in suitably bohemian surroundings. I wish to express my love for cosy frontroom-like nightspots with live acoustic music performed by acquantances in the company of friends long lost and forgotton. How wonderful my life is. Now your in my world.

I just got a text message. Oooh. It's from THE DARKMISTRESS. She loves me.

Alfie and Kat are made for each other. Ahh, bless.

I've lost 8lbs, hahahaha.

Mark says he loves me but I know it's all words. But it's nice all the same. Perhaps I should set him free from my spell...hmmm. I suppose I am beautiful. Especially in knitware. [so Darkmistress tells me]

mwa darlings, I need to dance. And eat beansprouts.

I'm not very well. I'm referring to my physical wellbeing mind.

Haha, I meant 'mind' in the context 'mind you, im referring to my...' but it reads like i'm referring to the the mind of my physical wellbeing and by doing so I am;
a] including my mental wellbeing in the statement when i'm referring to the fact my body is in pain when in fact I am perfectly content emotionally.
b] essentially deviating from my desire to separate my physical and mental [i.e emotional] wellbeing from each other as separate components that culminate as ME. I am transferring a centre, a conscious core, a 'mind' to my physicality and therefore making a statement such as 'my foody food' or 'my grassy grass' which denies my spearation thesis any grounding.

Did that make any sense? My body just hurts but I'm happy. There, that was easy.

2 months till I leave. Jabs tomorrow.

Painful spot on the side of my nose.

My mum is ill and is wearing a pashmina. Very classy. Too classy if you ask me for an invalid.

My identity is evolving. If only I had the money to get some cowgirl boots to aid it in it's transitional period.

My dad just said 'I always thought you would have made a great musician'. How right he is! Now I'll never have to actually learn, how refreshing to achieve something without actually doing it. I just wrote 'how' twice, 'how' uninspiring of me!

ciao babies x

My diet is quite fun! Compiling lists of the calories consumed seems to have given my life a sense of purpose.

Today I have consumed 1350 calories.

I like it when people pronounced learned as 'learn-ED', i.e to put it into context, 'the learn-ED judges' as proclaimed seconds ago by Alex Thompson on Channel 4 News. It's quite swanky.

Channel 4 is for clever people. I'm working on my suitability to fit into this demographic audience. [I've started eating natural yoghart mixed in with muesli for breakfast]

My birthday is in 18 days. But I won't be 18.

I leave for my trip in 85 days. However, I won't be 85 and possibly will never reach this age.

I seem to only have spots on the right hand side of my face. Im left handed. Why much I subject myself to such descrimation?

I saw Donnie Darko yesterday. Was amazing. I want to marry Donnie. I want to go into the film, rectify all of his misgivings and love him like he deserves. I wonder if I'll ever meet anyone like him. I hope so.

Wahey, life is sweet. I'm quite content really.

I had a fantastic time in London because for the first time in months I was given the opportunity to just be as odd as it sounds. I spent money in a somewhat extravagant manner in comparrisson to the cautiousness I have become accustomed to. I am aware that this statement alone contradicts the attitude I have presented in the past months regarding monetary wealth and it's lack of resonance in relation to the worth of life. Money may give me the ability to live comfortably, to travel the world, to eat well but it is by no means a significant factor in determining my emotional status. But...having a week spending money rather than acquiring it and spending as little of it as possible was quite liberating. I do not desire to worship money btu to use it relentlessly to just achieve the things I want to.

Anyway, it was lovely to spend time with my family, to explore unseen lands alone and experience a different kind of lifestyle. I am now driven to eat healthier, to cherish the few months I have left before I embark upon my travels and to spread happiness. My crusade has been intensified it seems............

Oh I do neglect you all don't I?! You just can't get enough of me, I am the stargirl, shining in an unobtrusive manner across the lands of this spherical earth. Mwoar darlings, missed me?

Ok this is quick, due to the fact I'll be late for work if it isn't, monotonous recollection of events that have kept me from you....

1. I went to my Grans for a week with no internet
2. I came back and worked non-stop for a week and tried to catch up with old friends.
3. I went to my aunts for a week and explored London.
4. I came back last night and went straight out to celebrate halloween. I looked really sexy.
5. I now have work but had to get some food in for my parent's return from their latest travels and therefore have to type quickly. Very quickly.

I feel as if I'm explaining my movements to a husband who senses my infidelity. I'm sorry my friends, I'll write in length tomorrow. Love you x